If you want to be funny, you generally have to be bold. You don’t have to be crass or use foul language, but you have to be extreme. Comedy comes from being surprising.
The funniest people I have ever met are just sort of random. They say the things that you just don’t expect them to say.
Here are thirteen examples of bold people who are making life hilarious for those around them.
1. The Bike and the Sticker
I have to admit that this sticker is brilliant. It is also really sweet. I can’t really relate, sadly.
I do know that there are parking lots in my town in which I can leave my car overnight if the need arises. They won’t have me towed, and I am grateful for that.
A lot of lots around here will. I had a friend who had his car towed, and it cost him two hundred bucks. He wasn’t making anyone’s life difficult, but that whole experience definitely made my life very difficult.
Anyway, the person who put up this sticker is both funny and bold—and also very sweet.
2. The Hand and the Keyboard
What’s hilarious about this one, at least in my opinion, is that keyboards are the grossest things out there. I don’t let anyone else touch my computer, but I am still creeped out by the fact I have to touch my computer and then touch my face. That’s why I keep hand sanitizer on my desk.
I would rather lick my toilet seat than the keyboard of my laptop. There is a good chance there is less bacteria on the toilet seat. At the very least, in the case of my toilet seat, almost all of the bacteria belongs to me. I might not let others use my computers, but I go out from time to time and touch surfaces other have touched. That bacteria ends up on my fingers, which ends up on my keyboard.
I have read studies that prove that the hand is one of the most disgusting parts of the human body. If you care about your health, you are better off kissing another person on the mouth instead of shaking hands. Also, I will let my dog lick my face, but I’d be freaked out if another person licked it.
3. The People That Look Like Other People
I can sort of relate to this one. I don’t look like anyone who has ever been painted—as far as I know—but I do vaguely resemble a couple of celebrities.
When I was young, I looked like that actor who played Spider-Man from 2002 to 2007. I was mistaken for him more than once. When I briefly lived in Los Angeles, I apparently looked like the guy from “The Big Bang Theory”, except I was much shorter. I am also just as neurotic, sadly, which is bad for the character and bad for me. He is smarter than me, but I am slightly less neurotic. I can definitely relate to the way he views the universe. I also find other people obnoxious.
4. The Memes and the Wedding
I grew up in a strange time. Memes have been a thing for a while now, but I never thought that they would play a part in a wedding. They certainly won’t be a part of my wedding.
Well, that may not be true. If my future—hypothetical—wife wants memes to be a part of the wedding, I really don’t have a choice. I have no interest in planning a wedding. I would like it if my dog could attend. He is great company, and he would likely look great in a tuxedo. He wouldn’t even need to get dressed up—he has thick fur, so he wouldn’t get cold regardless of the time of year.
Honestly, I don’t think most guys care about weddings at all. They’re just trying to get through the ceremony so that they can get to the reception; then, they’re just trying to get through the reception. Once they’re at the reception, they are looking forward to the wedding night. That has been the experience at every wedding I have ever attended.
Most men would be happy getting hitched at the local chain restaurant. It would cost a lot less; the drinks are typically priced pretty reasonably.
5. The Jewelry and the Ogre
I don’t really know how a woman would respond to such a piece of jewelry. I can’t imagine the average person would respond particularly well, but buying gifts for others can be sort of tricky.
For example, I have known my mother for decades, and I still don’t know what to buy her when the holidays roll around. Making the matter more difficult is the fact she was born shortly after the “New Year”, when no one really cares about doing anything anymore. She acknowledges that fact, of course, and has come to accept it. Still, it sucks for her.
Everyone basically wants to hibernate, but it is still her birthday.
I have gotten to the age where I don’t want anyone at all to acknowledge my birthday. I am not old, but I am not young. If someone were to slip me twenty dollars and tell me to buy a couple plates of hot wings, I would consider that a very generous birthday present.
At a certain point, you just don’t want to be reminded that you are another year closer to the end.
6. The Couples at Halloween
I have said this before: I really can’t stand couples that dress up for Halloween. What a goofy way to express “your love”.
I once had to see a male friend of mine dress up as a French maid; his now-wife was dressed up as a European noble. It was pretty disturbing, honestly, and I didn’t want to see it. I wish I hadn’t gone to that party.
No offense to my friend, but he didn’t make the most attractive woman. He was already balding at that point, and he didn’t decide to wear a wig. He also didn’t shave his armpits. There are probably other parts of his body that he should have shaved and didn’t, but I really don’t want to think about that.
7. The Purse
This is a cute purse, I guess; I don’t really know what makes a purse cute, but I am assuming this is a cute purse. When I used to carry around one of those “man bags”, I was made fun of by both male and female friends. It wasn’t a “cute” bag, but it was extremely practical.
I wish it were more acceptable in this day and age for a man to carry around a bag. In certain parts of the United States—unless you are in college—people give you weird looks if you carry around a bag. I have gotten made fun of for carrying around a backpack. I have no idea why that is the case.
Men, like women, also need bags in this day and age. Am I supposed to keep my wallet, keys, phone, and other things in the pockets of my jeans? That is both impractical and kind of irritating. It works fine during the winter months, as most coats have several pockets, but it doesn’t work so well in the summer. You end up losing things—including money. That has happened to me several times.
8. The “Wake Up”
On the one hand, this seems like a horrible way to wake up.
On the other hand, it will definitely wake you up if you are in a deep sleep, and that’s a problem I have had. Sometimes it takes a really loud and startling noise to get you out of bed or off of the couch.
I don’t really understand the deal with the “Roman” outfit; that’s kind of weird. I have played several video games about ancient Rome, true, but they were not the best games.
9. The Lime and the Number
I know that I have seen this image before, but it still impresses me.
I do find people that order water at a restaurant while also making specific requests obnoxious, by the way, but this one is sort of cute. I really have to respect the server who was bold enough to give away his number to another person via a lime.
After all, I don’t give away my number to anyone; I might give away my fake email address, but I would never give away my real, actual phone number. Most servers should be similarly cautious.
I do know a couple of waitresses to whom I would happily give my phone number. Shockingly, neither one of them has ever expressed any interest. They won’t even be my Facebook friends. They will pretend to be my friends to get bigger tips, but that’s about as far as it goes.
10. The Display Phone
I can definitely see this happening. Once in a while, because my uncle is obsessed with Apple products, I have to visit the Apple store. While he is irritating the staff with questions about products he’ll never purchase, I find myself browsing what is available.
Naturally, the staff thinks I will buy a product, but I don’t. I only purchase new phones when my old phone is literally unusable.
Anyway, the websites people visit using iPhones and iPads at the store are sort of weird. That’s sort of the point of this particular rant. Who looks at pictures of monkeys while at the Apple Store?
Monkeys are cool and everything, true, but why look at them when you are at the Apple Store?
11. The Large Sign at the Airport
I don’t know why anyone would do this. I can speak from personal experience when I say that siblings can be awful, but I could say similar things about childhood friends, teachers, law enforcement, and a lot of religious leaders. I clearly don’t really have many good things to say about anyone.
The giant signs at the airport are ridiculous; they served a purpose back in the 1990s before text messages became a thing. At this point, it is all a bit much. I get that the sister was trying to be funny, but it wasn’t really that funny. Everyone in the area looks more irritated than amused.
12. The Distracted Boyfriend
I realize these people are trying to make a joke, and it is a vaguely funny one.
It is also a sort of obnoxious one. If you think your partner doesn’t look at another person once in a while, you are out of your mind. It happens. You need to get over it. That’s how life works.