Even if you are only looking for pictures that are safe to look at while at work, you will likely encounter many images on the internet that will make you uncomfortable. It seems as if making people feel kind of weird is one of the internet’s main purposes. Shopping is one of the other reasons it exists. You can buy the weirdest stuff on the internet if you know where to look. From what I understand, it might be possible to buy a jet pack online. I wouldn’t mind owning a jetpack. I am afraid of heights, and I don’t know what I’d do with it, but I definitely wouldn’t turn one down if someone offered one to me.
Here are ten pictures that might make you just a bit uncomfortable.
1. The Stairs
This image definitely creeps me out. What sort of contractor built these things? Don’t you have to have some sort of license if you want to build stairs? If not, I think you should.
This imagine bothers me in particular because I have fallen down a flight of stairs before; it was not, as you can imagine, a pleasant experience.
I am very clumsy. I once had to carry an infant down a flight of stairs, and it was an extremely awful experience. I don’t think the mother would have forgiven me had I dropped the baby.
When he was small, I used to have to carry my little dog up and down the stairs. He was so tiny that he couldn’t get up a single step on his own. It was pretty adorable, but I was always afraid I would drop him. He probably wouldn’t have survived. That would have been sad; I like my dog a lot.
2. The Bartender
I have to admit I really laughed at this one, which makes me feel bad about myself as a person.
The “bartender wanted” thing, though, is kind of funny. I assume it was some sort of coincidence—a very unfortunate one. I hope that the bartender who was injured turned out okay.
It can be very hard to get a job as a bartender. A decade ago or so, I tried. I even took classes to learn how to make all of the drinks—that class was harder than any course I took in college, frankly. It was certainly a lot harder than the course I took to learn how to make masks for theatrical performances.
That really was a class I took when I was at University. I did okay in it; I probably could have done better, but I just couldn’t take a mask making class too seriously.
I took a lot of stupid classes in college, but I sort of had to do so. There were classes I had to take for my major, and then I had to choose from a bunch of really dumb topics. I took two astronomy classes, for example; while interesting, I don’t think my learning about black holes really served me all that well. Each class cost hundreds of dollars in books alone, and I would like those hundreds of dollars back. I don’t really remember much about what I learned regarding black holes. Furthermore, I could just do an internet search about them if I were really interested in learning more. I know I don’t want to go near a black hole, but it seems unlikely that I ever will.
3. The Mean Person
This makes me sad, not uncomfortable. It also kind of creeps me out, as I had a conversation with a buddy today about how women would rate us on a scale from one to ten. It was a pretty long conversation. We didn’t just consider looks, though; we also considered personality, intelligence, and other things of the sort. He started the conversation. It wasn’t even noon—I don’t like to have deep conversations before noon. I don’t like to have conversations at all before about two in the afternoon.
The bad news is that we both rated ourselves about 2/10 on the attractiveness scale; the good news—for the women who live near us, anyway—is that we won’t be approaching them because we are extremely self-aware and have very low self-esteem.
I wonder why this young lady warrants a 3/10. The picture isn’t great, true, but I would probably give her at least a 5/10.
All jokes aside, I really do feel bad for people who are made fun of due to their looks. I was mercilessly mocked for several years of my life. In order to not die, I had to take a medicine that made my face look very round. It was like the moon! It was particularly unpleasant. I also skipped a grade because, once upon a time, I was smart. So there I was! I was a year younger than all of the other boys with a very round face—just when I was starting to notice girls. It went about as poorly as you might expect. It didn’t really get any better, either, for several years; by that point I was emotionally damaged and incapable of trusting another human being.
I don’t even trust my dog now. I wouldn’t be surprised if my dog made fun of me behind my back to other dogs in the neighborhood. He just seems like the type, you know?
4. The Door
I don’t really know precisely what is going on here, but it certainly looks dangerous.
My father is actually one of those safety people. His entire career—and it was a relatively successful one—was based around making sure workplaces were safe. He is sort of obsessed with ergonomics.
When I think about being trapped, I think about the time a steam pipe exploded in New York City in 2007. I was there. I traveled there to see a play called “Curtains”. The guy from “Frasier” was the star, which is why I was excited to see it. A good friend of mine also lived in the city at the time.
Long story short, after the play, my girlfriend and I decided to go visit my friend at his place of employment; after hanging out for ten minutes, we said our goodbyes, and the steam pipe exploded thirty seconds later. It is worth noting that he worked about a block away from where the explosion took place. I ended up in the basement of a department store surrounded by probably 100 people. It was terrible. In addition to the trauma, one of my favorite shirts was ruined. I am happy to report that my friend wasn’t injured.
As bad as it all was, it was neat meeting Niles from “Frasier”. He seems really nice. I wish they would make another season of that show.
5. The Cheating and the Door
That is definitely a bit of a mess. That’s going to be expensive to fix.
I really can’t stand cheaters. Fortunately, I have never been cheated upon. I would like to pretend that is because I am just so very charming and attractive; sadly, the truth of the matter is that I have the emotional depth of a puddle on the sidewalk and run away from relationships as soon as there are signs of trouble. I have never actually given a woman the chance to cheat on me. If I were to ever do so, I am quite sure that she would. That’s just my luck.
I also did a bit of research regarding cheating. I don’t really know how valid this information is, honestly, but according to certain studies over 60 percent of married women would cheat if they thought there was no way their partner would find out. More than 70 percent of men would do so. That is pretty depressing stuff.
6. The Bridge
I really have no idea what happened here, and I really don’t want to know. It looks like there could have been injuries, but hopefully there weren’t.
Situations like these are why I don’t leave my house more than I have to. Every single time I leave my house I half-expect something awful to happen. For example, I went out to eat the other day and someone threw up on my car. I was parked in front of a bar, true, so I probably should have expected it. Still, it was very irritating. It wasn’t as irritating as the time kids threw eggs on my car, though; that was a mess that took forever to clean.
7. The Dress Code
Walmart, apparently, has a dress code. That surprises me, as that did not seem the case the last time I went to one to buy a video game.
That is not a lot of freedom. Those are just slightly different shades of blue. Does Walmart really think it is kidding anyone?
I like Walmart well enough; you can buy really cheap soup there, and I love soup. The staff, though, is a bit on the surly side. I can’t really blame them, though, if they are surly. It isn’t like they are paid very well. At the moment, the average Walmart employee in the US only makes about $10 an hour.
It is hard to be upset with Walmart, really. There are over 11,000 stores throughout the world. It doesn’t matter where you go—you will find a Walmart store nearby. As far as I know there isn’t one in Antarctica, but I wouldn’t be surprised if one opened very soon.
8. The Swing Incident
At a certain point, you probably should put away childish things. You probably shouldn’t be swinging if you are over the age of 12—which this picture proves. That looks pretty painful.
Then again, swinging isn’t bad exercise. You burn a couple hundred calories every hour, which isn’t bad. It is also a lot of fun. I can think of a worse way to spend an hour. For example, I’d rather spend an hour swinging than I would an hour in the dentist’s chair. The people who clean my teeth always talk to me. I don’t like being talked to in general; it is horrible when someone has their fingers in your mouth.
I do like being talked to when my hair is being cut, though. The woman who cuts my hair is very charming, and she knows a lot of great stories. I think people who cut hair try a little harder than people who clean teeth in regard to developing fun personalities. In part, I like the woman who cuts my hair because she offers me wine, and I almost always accept a glass of wine. Why would I refuse one? The dentist never offers you a glass of wine. There’s a lot of sugar in wine—I am guessing that is the reason.
9. The One About the Emo Kids
The student kind of has a point. Everyone seems to be sort of “emo” now. When I was growing up, there were only a couple “emo” kids in my class.
These days, it is almost impossible to find a person who isn’t extremely upset about something. People act like the world is about to end any second now. It is very exhausting. There is a reason I don’t talk to people. It just makes me tired.
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