The Halloween season may officially be over until 2019, but that doesn’t mean 2018 doesn’t have more to offer in the form of freaking you out a little bit. For many of us, the rest of the year will involve visits with family; that is not always a good thing.
I always hear these stories about people who really love getting together with their relatives and talking about their lives. That confuses me. A lot of people like talking about their lives, but who wants to do so with relatives? Unless you’re literally the oldest person in the room, someone will probably give you unwanted, pointless advice about what you should be doing.
I don’t like talking about my life. I like making lame jokes about it on the internet, true, but talking about it over lunch or dinner with family is the worst.
You also tend to see old friends during the holiday season. To call those people “friends” may be a bit of a stretch, honestly. They may have been friends once upon a time, but now they are just people who you once shared experiences with many years ago.
I went to see a friend at his place of employment a couple months back. This person is still a friend; I have actually willingly had a conversation with him several times this year. He works at a bar, which is important to the story because a woman who I knew when I was in college has become a regular of that bar. It is worth noting that she and I weren’t great friends; we were friendly and just kind of knew one another.
She barely resembles the young woman I once knew, and for some reason both he and she expected me to instantly recognize her. I did not, though. It had been at least five years since I’d seen her. The exchange, at first, was very awkward.
Anyway, Halloween is over. The holiday season has arrived, and I think it is definitely the spookiest time of the year. Here are ten images that might spook you a little or freak you out a bit.
1. The New Pet
This is pretty funny, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if this young man was being serious. After all, people did keep rocks as pets back in the 1970s.
Believe it or not, the guy that invented the pet rock became a millionaire. Based on an interview his wife gave, though, things didn’t turn out as well for him as one might think. For years, he was bothered by a lot of weird people who had bizarre ideas of their own.
You can still buy Pet Rocks if you’re interested in doing so. Based on my research, an original is currently for sale for about $13. That seems like a lot for a rock, true, but real pets will cost you a lot more. Over the course of its lifetime, a dog will likely cost you over $10,000.
To all of those parents out there, I offer this bit of advice: if your kids are asking for a pet as a holiday gift, just get the rock. You’ll save yourself a lot of money and aggravation.
2. The Daddy Issues
Someone here has some “daddy issues”. That’s a shame, and also kind of freaky.
I don’t think it is fair to the dad being referenced here, though. Many fathers have trouble expressing emotions. A lot of men in general have trouble talking about their feelings—even in this day and age. Personally, I hate talking about my feelings.
In my case, however, it isn’t that I can’t express emotion; the simple fact of the matter is that my emotions towards pretty much everyone can be summed up in this simple phrase: “you’re irritating me”.
People don’t respond well to that particular sentiment. That’s why I only have two friends and no one in my family willingly talks to me.
3. The Person Who Can’t Spell
I tend to assume most people I meet are idiots. Still, I am constantly surprised. Who doesn’t know that “fiscally” is a word? LilRed, apparently, does not.
I think this Lip person has a very valid point, by the way. He knows it is important to save money!
I went to “clubs” a few times when I was young and pretending to be hip. I never had a good time, though. I was always dragged there by people who wanted to have a “fun night out”. When I go out, which I rarely do, I’m trying to have actual conversations with other people. I’m not trying to pay ten times more than I need to for a beverage while listening to obnoxiously loud music that prevents me from having the aforementioned conversations. I think clubs are terrible; fortunately, I’m at that point in my life where no one will ever invite me to a “club” ever again. I am starting to get to the point where no one will invite me anywhere ever again.
4. The Bug and the Pickles
This is nasty. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t want to know, frankly. You really can’t trust the people and facilities that package your food.
I also don’t want to know if I would eat a pickle from this jar. If I was in a certain mood, I might. We have all swallowed spiders in our sleep, after all—at least that’s what I’m told. What’s the difference here?
I certainly wouldn’t buy a jar of pickles with a bug in it intentionally; however, if I bought one and then noticed the bug, I might consider just picking it out and then enjoying the pickles. I am no science expert, certainly, but I think the vinegar and spices would destroy all of the bacteria introduced by the fly.
Unlike some people, I absolutely love pickles. There is this certain brand—which is made in France—that is almost impossible to get in the United States for a reasonable price. A little jar can cost upwards of $10. They’re just the best things in the world, though. I could eat nothing but those little pickles for the rest of my life; it wouldn’t be a long life, I don’t think, but it would be a fun one.
If you really do some searching you can find jars of pickles available for purchase that cost over $60. I might really love pickles, but I’m not spending $60. They’re cucumbers—how good could they be?
5. The Bee Sting
This young woman was stung by a bee, which is why she looks like this. From what I understand, she was starting to learn about beekeeping. She apparently didn’t take the necessary safety precautions.
I would have questions about why this young lady was getting into beekeeping if it weren’t for the fact a former friend of mine was a beekeeper for a couple of years. After spending a few months picking fruit, she and her husband decided to go into the bee business. They knew nothing about the bee business, but they were nonetheless enthusiastic about the opportunity. They apparently knew a guy who knew everything about bees. I ended up losing touch with her. For all I know, she made billions off of bees. I somehow doubt that is the case, but you never know!
Personally, I hate bees. I understand they are kind of important to the Earth, but I wish they would just leave me alone. The only time I ever found a bee amusing was when one flew up my dad’s pants. That was not a good day for him.
6. The Bathing Suit
The advice is sort of solid, but now I’m freaked out about the idea of ever swimming in a public pool again. Why can’t babies just be born knowing how to use a toilet? It isn’t that hard! For that matter, why can’t they be born knowing how to walk? Carrying them around all of the time strains the back. When my dog was six weeks old he could walk around and climb things. Human babies can’t even hold their heads up! And we consider ourselves the superior species?
To be honest, I was freaked out about public pools long before I saw this image. The thought of using a pool at a hotel makes me sick. I don’t care how much chlorine gets dumped into it—I’d be horrified if I had to swim in it. I don’t even like swimming in the ocean. I just tend to think about how many people have peed in it.
Now that I think about it, I can’t believe that I am willing to eat seafood. I’m basically consuming creatures that exist in water other people have peed in.
Then again, mushrooms are grown in crap. The Earth is gross.
7. The Depressing and Awkward Person
It is kind of spooky how adept the person at the bottom is at ruining everyone’s good mood. In my social circle, that person is usually me.
Is telling people that you’re pregnant via text messages and social media just how things are done now? Do people not call each other on the phone anymore?
I have lost several friends because I don’t really do the social media thing—and they take it personally. They shouldn’t, though; it isn’t that I don’t care about them. That’s not it at all. I just find their lives incredibly boring and would rather watch television than see pictures of their food, pets, or babies. People on television are paid well to write and perform jokes. My friends can’t compete with that! I have yet to meet a single person who is as funny as George from “Seinfeld”.
8. The Melting Car
I have been to Phoenix, Arizona, and I actually believe this happened. That place is insanely hot. Why do people move there?
When I think of Phoenix, I always think of “Arrested Development”. The main character, Michael, was always threatening to move there. He tried to do so a couple of times. At one point he actually made it there, but then he touched a car’s door handle and decided the city wasn’t for him.
Speaking of “Arrested Development”, I am still waiting for the final episodes; everything after season three has been sort of crappy, but I’m invested. Come on, Netflix, just release them already.
By the way, the final episodes of the American version of “House of Cards” were terrible. If you haven’t seen it, don’t bother. It ends on a cliffhanger, but not the kind of cliffhanger where you want to see more. You just end up regretting spending hours of your life watching that crap.
9. The Bouquet
What is it with the bouquet throwing at weddings? Why did that tradition really start? It is just so weird. Why does it continue to this day? We should have progressed as a society.
Is the guy next to the woman her boyfriend? If so, he should be grateful that she’s willing to marry him. In my opinion, she could do a lot better. He might be rich, I guess; either that or he has a great personality.
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